Find out what the day will look like
Ask about arrival, meals, play, rest and the end of the day. Learn who will greet your child and whom you should contact with a question. Confirm what to bring and what should stay at home.
Head Start's transition resources discuss changes in early care settings for both children and families. Your child's program can explain its own introduction process and routines.
Share useful information about your child
Tell staff about familiar words, communication methods, comfort preferences, care instructions and access needs. Ask how private information is stored and who needs to know it.
Be specific about what helps without expecting the new setting to reproduce every part of home. Ask the staff what is possible and which arrangements need to be agreed before attendance begins.
Make a simple arrival plan
If the program allows a visit before the first day, use it to become familiar with the place and the adults. Talk with your child in clear terms about what will happen and who will return for them. Avoid promises about exactly how they will feel.
Agree with staff on a goodbye routine. Use a short, truthful explanation rather than disappearing without the child's knowledge. If the routine is not working, discuss a change with staff instead of improvising a new plan each day without coordination.
Arrange transportation and pickup
Confirm authorized pickup, travel time, emergency contacts, closures and what happens if you are delayed. If several adults share transportation, make sure they each know the process.
When possible, leave some room around the first days for unfamiliar details. If your schedule has little flexibility, tell the program and ask how communication can work within that constraint.
Ask what happens after you leave
A difficult goodbye does not tell you everything about the rest of the day. Ask staff for specific observations: how your child joined activities, ate, rested or sought help. Share changes you notice at home.
Agree on when to check in. A short planned update may be more useful than repeated messages during a busy care period, but urgent concerns need the program's urgent contact route.
Pay attention to how your child is adjusting
Children differ in how they experience a transition. Avoid using another child's adjustment as a timetable. If distress is persistent, severe or associated with safety, health or developmental concerns, discuss it with the program and your child's clinician as appropriate.
Ask whether the environment, routine, communication or support needs to change. Give your child time and support while you work with the program on what would help.
Return to a few familiar things
Keep manageable parts of home life predictable during the transition. A familiar meal, book or quiet activity can give you a chance to reconnect without asking the child for a full report of the day.
Before the first day
Obtain the program's actual list of belongings and label items as it requests. Confirm spare clothing, feeding supplies or other care materials that apply; avoid buying an online “preschool essentials” list before checking the setting. Share important care information through the program's agreed process.
Talk through the parts your child will recognize: who takes them, who greets them, where their belongings go and who comes back. Use a truthful cue for pickup that fits their understanding, such as a familiar part of the program's day, if staff confirm that arrangement. Do not promise to return after an activity unless you can.
If an introduction visit is offered, ask how it works. A child may watch before joining. The purpose is familiarity, not demonstrating independence on demand.
For a baby, the important handoff includes feeding, sleep, care instructions and how the baby shows a need. For a preschooler, you can also talk through the sequence, look at program pictures or act out arriving with a toy. Ask the setting how those preparations fit its actual routine rather than expecting both ages to manage the same goodbye.
On the first morning
Give yourself time for the agreed handoff where possible. Tell the receiving caregiver any information that affects the day, then use the goodbye you have discussed. You might say: “I am going to work. Your teacher will help you here, and I will come back after your afternoon activity.” Adapt the words to the actual schedule and caregiver.
Stay within the program's agreed introduction process rather than making a new promise each time the child protests. If the process seems unsuitable, discuss that directly with staff. A short goodbye should still be attentive and truthful.
Look beyond the first goodbye
At the planned check-in, ask what the child did after you left. Did they find an adult for help, join an activity or eat and rest? Specific observations tell you more than “fine” or a photograph taken during one happy moment.
At home, leave room for quiet and reconnection. You can say, “I'm glad to see you,” without asking for a full account immediately. Share persistent changes in eating, sleep, distress or participation with the program and, when appropriate, the child's clinician. Adjustment varies, but a serious concern should not be dismissed as something every child must simply endure.