# Helping With Big Feelings: A Caregiver Sheet

Use these prompts when a young child has a difficult moment. Choose the ideas that fit the situation; a sheet cannot explain every cause or make a child calm on command.

## Before: notice the situation

**What was happening before the feeling became strong?**

**Was there a change, wait, difficult task or unmet need?**

**What can we make clearer or easier next time?**

Example: before leaving a game, give a short warning and one choice about the next step. Avoid offering a choice about something already decided.

## During: a feeling and a limit

Use a few words and keep necessary safety limits clear. “You wanted another turn. It's hard to stop. We are leaving now.” If a child hits, protect people and name the limit: “I won't let you hit.”

**Our short explanation:**

**The limit or safety action needed:**

**An acceptable alternative:**

## After: reconnect and practice

When you are both calmer, return to the situation briefly. Explain what happened, repair an adult mistake if needed and practice the next step. A long lecture is not required to make the limit clear.

**What we will practice:**

**What another caregiver needs to know:**

## Three illustrative situations

- **Leaving:** name the change, acknowledge wanting to stay and offer a role in leaving.
- **Waiting:** explain what is being waited for and offer something the child can do meanwhile.
- **A difficult task:** break the task into one manageable part and ask what kind of help is wanted.

These are examples for discussion, not a diagnosis or required script. If a concern persists or safety is difficult to maintain, discuss the specific observations with an appropriate professional.

[Read the full feelings guide](/resources/helping-toddlers-with-feelings/) · [Read about clear limits](/resources/guiding-young-childrens-behavior/) · [Read about hitting and biting](/resources/hitting-and-biting/)

Edition: October 2026. National Parenting Foundation. [Reuse and permissions](/permissions/).